Nicole with TVXQ

2011-07-31T13:45:00.003+08:00

I'm bored & have no mood to study. So I'm here to blog!

Born on 30 March 1990. 21 years old. Has small eyes which need eyeliner. Has bright smile. Has got muscles & the most wanted ABS!!!!! Has thick lips. Has a soothing voice. Has amazing dancing skills. Not very tall. etc Those who know me must have a picture of this guy in mind. keke He's my ideal boyfriend. Lxx Kx Kxxxx. Ok, there's nothing to hide. Lee Ki Kwang. hahahahaha I had a date w him on 1st July, well, together w the other 5 B2ST members & thousands of fans. lol I'm not gonna talk about that night, I'm talking about him rather.

The very 1st time I saw him on TV was on Music Bank. In 2009. A guy named AJ aka Ace Junior debuted w Dancing Shoes as a solo singer. That time it said 'hot debut'. I didn't know why it said 'hot' cuz I had no idea who he was. But then I remember I was quite amazed by his dancing skills cuz he was like very energetic, although the song was... weird. Later I'd forgotten about him. Later B2ST debuted. Besides the blonde Yoseob, Ki Kwang caught my attention. Well, because of his eyes. I tend to be attracted to guys who have big bright beautiful eyes or small eyes w eyeliner. keke Later I found out he had been a solo singer but ~~failed~~ one. Later only I recalled that he was the one whom I saw on MuBank. Since then he's become my bias. keke

He's always caught in scandals w other females, which I can't stand the most. Or he's often paired w females in shows. HyunA, IU, Hyo Sung etc. He's not mine though.

I must be strict when it comes to choosing boyfriend. As many ideal-type scores as you can! Fyi, I've listed a lot!

2011-05-21T17:14:00.002+08:00

Many things happened once I turned 18. A bad start.

I just wanna enjoy life every day, buying branded stuffs, travelling here & there, eating sashimi, playing iPhone 5 that I'm aiming & waiting for, K-pop-ing, shopping, make-over photoshoot once in a while, nail manicure etc. Life is to be happy. These will bring maximum happiness to me.

I don't wanna love anymore. I'll get hurt in the end. Yee poh, I regret things that I haven't done for you. I will never be able to forgive myself. But I've learnt a lesson. A precious lesson. Daddy, Mummy, Granny, from now on, I will do everything & anything for you. I love Daddy, I love Mummy, I love Granny. I love Kim JaeJoong. You're the only non-family member I love.
p.s. I've fallen for someone I shouldn't. I must erase you from my mind.

2011-03-15T11:47:00.017+08:00

MY IDEAL TYPE

handsome face
abs & muscles

rich

clean

dries my hair

around 1.75m, 1.80m is maximum
owns at least 1 sports car

acts cute

knows various languages
fashionista
older than me

no snoring when sleeping

good social network

uses Apple products
owns a yacht

charismatic gaze

knows music well, composes music

suits blonde helps me catch insects

Conclusion: From all those pics attached, my dream man is Song Seung Hun. My ideal guy is G-Dragon, SeungRi, Kim HyunJoong, Lee KiKwang maybe. Kim JaeJoong is indeed my type (I mean who wouldn't want him?), but I wouldn't say I want him to be my boyfriend or whatever. He deserves a perfect girl - beautiful, nice, sweet, cute etc. I want him to find true happiness. 1 common thing that my ideal guys have: lengzai w/ abs!!!!! hehe

2011-01-26T18:17:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tonight! this ep! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the subbed ep will only be uploaded on fri, if possible, thurs! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!! Plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today's Jaejoongie's birthday!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! Jaejoongie, you're so cute in the video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG~~~~~~~~~~ STAIRWAY KISS~~~~~ ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2011-01-23T16:05:00.005+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENT:
MY WHOLE LIFE RESOLUTION - TO POSSESS AT LEAST A PAIR OF CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES

*****

A chaang says I should attach SONG SEUNG HEON's pic. hehehehehe I've watched until ep6!!!!! ahahaha must wait for less than a WEEK only i can watch ep7!!!!! OMG my ideal type!!!!! I've got an eye candy of him but I won't share it!!!!! NO~!!!

I LOVE SEUNGRI. OMG I have so many lovers... ahaha If Song Seung Heon's not my ideal type, then you ARE!

2011-01-15T20:42:00.005+08:00

I was thinking of changing the blogskin but couldn't find one cooler than my current one. hehe *narcissistic me

Sr3 life is busy. I'm a bee, cuz I'm busy as a bee. omg I've grown older physically but I'm turning younger mentally. Actually I'm very childish. Fine, it's none of anyone's business. Luckily I didn't continue advanced Korean class. My friend who attends says she prefers my previous teacher, who has gone back to Busan, & that the classmates are... well, dunno.

I don't like to talk w/ you. It'll only make the place chaotic. Whenever I tell sth you'll disagree. Fine, I'll be a 败家女 then.

I don't know who's telling the truth but please stop. You're all like brothers, aren't you? I can't stop hoping for your return.
This morning, I ate 5 cherries & spat the seeds into a plastic bag. But, 1 dropped into the sink.
I brought 5 pins to school but I lost 1 in the car. Why?

aigu... I envy SNSD... They wear Christian Louboutin heels! So preeeeeeetty!!!!! & of course not to mention Burberry, Givenchy, Gucci, LV, Alexander McQueen, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Chloe OMG I must stop, if not I'll be advertising. OMG I'm so in love w/ Christian Louboutin heels!!!!! I haven't seen a Christian Louboutin boutique here but I saw one in Takashimaya @ Sg! I love how Christian Louboutin is unique from other shoes because of the sole!!!!! OMG I'm hyper now!

Another hyper thingy! I'm watching 2 dramas - Athena & My Princess. Put aside Dream High 1st because have no free time. Athena is okay, still prefer Iris because of the super cast! OMG I'm gonna be hyper now!!!!! My Princess!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG Ever since I started, I've fallen in love w/ Song Seung Heon DEEPLY!!!!!! OMG He's so LENGZAI!!!!! OMG He's got nice ABS!!!!! OMG OMG errhum... SONG SEUNG HEON IS OFFICIALLY MY NEWEST IDEAL TYPE. Unofficially, HE'S MINE. hahahahahahahahaha OMG I think I have mental problems. Btw, my previous ideal type was Yun Du Jun. XD OMG Kim Tae Hee is so lucky!!!!! OMG I wanna be her!!!!! OMG OK, I'm gonna stop.

The JJ I always love is loved by many. He will always be the JJ I always love.

I guess it's best for me to live alone. I can't live w/ people, I'll easily fight w/ them. Nvm, cuz I super love being alone, except having a boyfriend. LOL It must be Song Seung Heon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK, I'll stop.

친그도 가족도... 날 실망 시킬 사람...

2010-11-10T12:38:00.007+08:00

To-dos after SPM:
to finish all the dramas in my list
to buy lots of clothes
to buy another pair of boots
to buy that bracelet
to buy 1-2 pair(s) of heels
to learn to play all the piano scores I've printed
to polish my nails
to decide - long / short hair
to shop at Sg as planned
to karaoke more than once
to eat assorted sashimi & kobe / wagyu beef
to eat godiva chocolate

2010-10-21T16:48:00.002+08:00

Yup, went to JYJ showcase last Sunday. Decided not to post it here. I'm a little lazy... plus! I've only told a few friends the whole & detailed particulars. I don't tell random ppl, or like I see you at the street then I tell you the whole thing. no no no... Just a few will do.

Baaaaddddd~ SM. Just because Redstar is the organiser of JYJ's showcase here so you don't let Redstar organise Super Show 3? Baaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddd SM.

Nicole still doesn't know how to use twitpic thru h/p.

2010-10-14T18:14:00.003+08:00

woho! created a twitter acc on 9/28. twitter is fun!
just know how to use twitpic...
BUT
HOW ON EARTH DO I USE TWITPIC THRU H/P? w/o going online?
Can someone tell me.

i don't wanna go to school tomorrow!
why force me!!!!!
i don't wanna be 'fu shi jian cha-d'!
why must u destroy my perfect looks for d-day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i planned everything... i planned to polish my nails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how can i cut my pretty nails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-07T14:59:00.004+08:00

I miss 5. when will there be a 5th live tour? why is this happening. i just wanna do fangirl-ing every time they release new pieces of work.. music, drama, movie, CF,endorsement, whatever.. Micky said before, they'd continue their best in producing the best ever music in the future, they'd continue in doing the 5-jip, 6-jip, 7-jip,... even until 20-jip, they'd still be doing this. why has it come to an end. Where has the promise gone. sometimes, I feel deceived. We've always been waiting but things are not changing better. there's no point in saying 'always keep the faith' when it's become a habit. what am I saying. no matter we say this how many times things still won't change. what can we do. what can we do besides saying this phrase. our ability is just up until here. we cannot do anything to turn things around. i am so useless. God, please give me a wish. A wish that can make things come true.

2010-09-06T12:40:00.003+08:00

SNSD = fashion
SNSD = style
SNSD = trend
SNSD = everything i want

one day...

2010-09-06T12:22:00.003+08:00

I LOVE SNSD
I LOVE SNSD
I LOVE SNSD
I LOVE SNSD
I LOVE SNSD

more & more...

2010-08-09T16:56:00.002+08:00

I stepped on the weighing machine & what??!!! I've become heavier... The reason is... I've been eating too much fruits!!!!! Eating fruits can seriously put on weight. I mean, eating a little too much like me... hehe I eat a few types every day. Plus, I eat the whole fruit... cuz no one shares w/ me... I eat like 20-30 cherries.. I eat the whole dragonfruit.. I eat the whole pear.. I eat at least 1 golden kiwi..... in one day. hahaha I'm just so in love w/ fruits. How am I suppose to control my weight when I'm eating fruits like this?!

2010-08-04T15:20:00.003+08:00

Grown more love towards Se7en. I've been wondering why he didn't make his comeback stage at Music Bank. WHY!!!!! Every time I think of Se7en, he reminds me of Park HanByul. 8 years coming!!!!! I can still remember how shocked I was when the news saying Se7en dating Park for 7 years last year. omg... He is such a nice guy... so loyal to his gf... Get married quickly!

1ST PLACE: TVXQ
SUPER CRUSH: SHINee > SNSD > Khuntoria
RECENT CRUSH: BoA, Se7en, 4minute
*actually someone's been excluded from my list... just yesterday.

Talking about 4minute, Goodbye is nice!

A Hurricane from Venus is landing on earth soon...
This is not a Game...
Please Stand By...

2010-08-03T12:13:00.005+08:00

김종현은 절대 니 여보 아냐!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
따라하지마!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
너 샤이니 앨범 있냐????? 난 있어!!!!!!!!!!
너 샤이니 나온 모든 프로그램 다 봤냐????? 제일 먼저??? 나 제일 먼저 다 봤는데
너 샤이니 대한 거 다 알아????? 난 너보다 많이 더 알아!!!!!
오공일 없어지기 때문에 샤이니 좋아하게 됐냐???
한류에 빠졌다고 해???!!! 그게 무슨 말이야?????!!!!!
공식한 샤월이 바로 나야!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
넌 아무것도 아냐!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
김종현은 니꺼 아냐!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
그래.. 계속 해봐!! 내가 더 잘 하는거 믿어!!!!!

2010-07-31T19:35:00.002+08:00

샤이니는 니꺼 아냐!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-18T10:58:00.002+08:00

Nichkhun belongs to Victoria.
Victoria belongs to Nichkhun.
Don't self-claim Nichkhun is yours then hate Victoria & vice versa.

Actually I'm disappointed towards Nichkhun. =( How could he do this to our Victoria... =( I was sad & I'm still sad. =( Please love Victoria more!

2010-07-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

I'm the one & only child forever. I hate sharing things you know?
My room is mine.
My bathroom is mine.
My clothes are mine.
The whole back seat of the car is mine.
My bed is mine.
My study room is mine.
My computer is mine.
My internet is mine.
My piano is mine.
My h/p is mine.
My TV is mine.
My lovely cups are mine.
My bags are mine.
My shoes are mine.
My boots are mine.
Daddy's money is for me to spend.
Mommy's time is to make yummy food for me.
Daddy & Mommy's love is mine.

I My Me Mine - 4minute

2010-07-02T16:23:00.003+08:00

I hate when...
- the internet connection is slower than a turtle.
- I'm dirty.
- ppl around me are unhygienic.
- the environment is dirty.
- Sejarah is torturing me.
- I look at the mirror & see me dark eye circles.
- I'm not tall enough even when I wear high heels.
- someone uses puppy eyes & stare at me.
- ppl being too sensitive.
- ppl nag at me.
- I have to do presentation in front of ppl.
- I'm asked to do housework.
- I'm sleepy.
- ppl lose my things.
- Lavender has sold out my favourite bread.
- I'm asked to tolerate w/ intolerable things.
- talking to stupid ppl.
- ppl ask me stupid questions.
- I need to smile when I don't want to.
- I think of my foolish past.
- the weather is HOT.
- the air-cond is not turned on when I reach home.
- I give food to my friend & someone asks the food from my friend in front of me.
- it's raining when I'm watching my favourite shows.
- I open the fridge & there are no favourite fruits in there.
- they are noisy.
- I know form 5 students have only 2 weeks of year-end-holiday.
- ppl copy me.
- ppl don't use their brains to think.
- ppl borrow my things & don't use them properly.
- my hair is cut short.
- I tell you not to do but you still do it & you end up come & ask me for solution..
- childish ppl talk to me.
... etc ... too much to say...
Yes. There are many things I hate. What to do? This is my true self. I'm a bad person so don't be good to me.

I'm the happiest when... watching Khuntoria's WGM!!!!! They make such a great couple!!!!! handsome & pretty~ CUTE couple!
p/s Thanks to Khuntoria WGM's subbing team's efficient work that I can watch every Sunday.

2010-06-21T17:27:00.005+08:00

可倚说你看不明我写的东西（鸡肠）。我就写一些你看得明的。我真的很讨厌你。为什么你要存在这个世上？你存不存在也算了。。为什么你要介入我的生活？！你差点令我和可倚的友情破裂！这条帐你还一世都还不完！是的，我当时真的很笨蛋，还瞎了眼。不能完全怪你，都怪我太蠢。我告诉自己，我不可以再重蹈覆撤。我不会。你真的令我很想忘掉以前。我讨厌你我讨厌你我讨厌你我讨厌你我讨厌你。现在很好，你我互不相干。你一堆的谎言我不想再听，越听就觉得自己越笨，越让我无地自容。我不要再为你掉任何一滴眼泪。

2010-06-16T14:54:00.002+08:00

Why do ppl around me share the same birthdates with celebrities????? This makes me emotionally unstable.

2/3 Kyuhyun, ci en
2/6 YunHo, mun ru's daddy
2/7 Lee Joon, kai qing
2/9 Hankyung, wang li fang
3/2 Lee Hongki, nicole (a friend of mine who has the same name as me)
3/30 Lee Kikwang, my cousin brother
4/18 Jessica, Qian Fei
5/2 Sunmi, my NZ aunty
5/10 Lee Hyori, *** (a bit**)
5/18 Gayoon, wai yee
5/25 Ueno Juri, primary school classmate
6/24 Nichkhun, Mun Ru
6/27 Sohee, daddy
7/1 Lee Teuk, lei peng
7/7 Kim Beom, primary school classmate
8/18 G-Dragon, ying ying
9/6 Kim Soeun, jason
9/13 Oh Seungah, my uncle
9/18 Amber, shuet yen
9/28 Shindong, kylin
10/5 Soyeon (from t-ara, btw, don't just be jealous of snsd), kar cheng
12/5 Yuri, callie
12/14 Onew, hui qing
12/19 Yong JunHyung, chee kwai (ex-piano classmate)
*names in blue are celebrities

Why isn't my name included in the list!!!!! If I were born one day earlier, I'd have the same birthdate as Robert Pattinson. If I were born one day later, I'd have the same birthdate as Sunny. If I were born on the exact date where the doctor expected me to be born, that is, 6/4, then my birthdate would be the same as Micky!!!!! Why on earth did I come out so early by 3 weeks!!!!! haiz... nvm.

Few weeks ago only I realised... my favourite SuJu member is... HeeChul! XD Not that I don't like SiWon anymore. Just that I like cold-hearted man. hahahahaha
My top 3 favourite members in SuJu, arranged in order: HeeChul > SiWon > KyuHyun
HeeChul is so cute in the video... He danced a little to 2DT when playing the song. argh.. How cute! He even danced when talking on the phone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vCyFDlU-2g&feature=player_embedded

2010-06-01T15:37:00.002+08:00

SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR SAFETY, NOT WORRY THAT THE MUSIC INDUSTRY BEING AFFECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A WAR IS????? MILLIONS OF PEOPLE MAY DIE BECAUSE OF A WAR!!!!! AND YOU'RE WORRYING IF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WILL BE AFFECTED?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GOSH, I HATE CHILDISH PEOPLE WITH CHILDISH MINDS!!!!! AND, DON'T USE YOUR PUPPY EYES TO STARE AT ME. IT YUCKS. THIS KIND OF CHILDISH PEOPLE REALLY IRRITATE ME. I'D RATHER THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WAS AFFECTED. I JUST WANT THEIR SAFETY TO BE GUARANTEED. NOW ONLY I KNOW WHY PEOPLE WISH FOR WORLD PEACE.

2010-05-19T16:42:00.000+08:00

NO! MIKIKO YANO WASN'T ISN'T WON'T BE JAEJOONG'S GIRLFRIEND!

2010-05-07T17:06:00.002+08:00

Lavender has changed my life. It makes me become a bread-lover!!!!! I never liked bread but now!!!!! I like to eat bread, & it has to be from Lavender. Lavender's bread is super yummy... mini pudding, japanese cheese-stick, custard bun, golden roll... omg... there are too many delicious breads that I can't even memorise all their names...!!!!! I bet, if you buy 10 breads, there will be 9.99999 yummy breads from them. & the cakes!!!!! They are all super yummy!!!!! I wanna marry Lavender's owner!!!!! So that I can eat Lavender's bread every single day!!!!!

OMG! I have a crush on 2PM... esp JunHo!!!!! argh... I never thought I would fall for 2PM, cause I didn't really like them at first... haha... BUT NOW!!!!! i'm gonna be okay i'll be okay baby without u... argh... stuck in my head!!!!! Also! so we don't stop we can't stop until we reach the top...
I'm so glad Music Bank has resumed broadcast. woosh, i can see 2PM, RAIN, Lee HyoRi, f(x) & more today!!!!! Another 10 more mins Music Bank will start!!!!! Also, SuJu is coming back for my birthday. XD

2010-04-08T19:58:00.002+08:00

Extreme feelings.

Pausing/stopping group activities. (There's a huge difference between pausing & stopping, isn't it?) It's getting a step closer. I'm not being pessimistic or what... But it's just that I'm trying to face the truth! Why have things turn out to be like this?! If crying could help resume all things like they were in the beginning, I'd use up all my tears to cry.
Right, for the time being, I'll definitely support: JunSu's upcoming new single; YuCheon's two dramas - 1 Jap 1 Kor; JaeJoong's Jap drama; ChangMin's Kor drama, which is highly-anticipated by me; YunHo's MJ concert.
Gonna buy: AnAn! Well, good that it isn't that exposing. Kinda weird huh? Not liking Jae being half-naked.
동방신기로 스테이지에 돌아와 줘... 영원히 5인으로 스테이지에 나와!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGHYEONIE!. I actually posted a message at the official website, like I've always done to JS, YC, JJ, CM & YH. 일단 생일 축하해! 오빠에게 할 말이 많는데... 어디부터 시작할 까? 아까 쓴 message 봤어? 아무 일이 생겨도 자주 웃어야 돼... 건강하고 행복하게 사세요! 오빠 노래 부를 때 제일 좋아! 음... 우리 빨리 만나자! 만나고 계속 만나! 어쨌든 앞으로 많이 사랑해 줄게...

Mnet M! Countdown, Rain's finally come back! Love Song really got me. The dance part was kinda weird to me at first but I think I got used to it. =)
So, gonna update my recent crush(es): Rain, BEAST (since Shock just released)

Hello Baby ended. *sobs I'm gonna miss YuGeun! I wish I had such a CUTE baby!

I wish MYFM / KBSW select me as the winner for World Date with Kim Beom. I know lots about Korea which they wanted me to include in the application form. National flower, biggest coin, who created hangeul, traditional sports ETC. haha I bet if I were 20+ I'd definitely be selected! haha Am I overconfident? Well, at least just let me dream of it... I know the chance of me being selected is... a very small percentage.

2010-04-03T10:34:00.002+08:00

OMG! I finally managed to watch Heaven's Postman yesterday...~~illegally~~! I don't know what to say... It's just too GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! beyond description!!!!! The sadness of the storyline... awwwww... I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. At first I thought it'd be a sad ending & I was so worried but it turned out to be a happy ending. *relieved The ~~non-original fan-captured-at-cinema~~ version I watched, was kinda incomplete(?), cuz HaNa hadn't finished talking & it ended. But at least I get to know the ending. Hope for the original version to be released asap & I'll quickly grab it! Meanwhile, JaeJoong's filming for his new Jap drama! The jap name of the drama is quite long, I can't remember it. I just know the translation. 4/15 hooray!

2010-04-03T09:59:00.005+08:00

널 붙잡을 노래

오늘도 서성이는 너의 집 화가 나는 걸
나는 힘든데 나는 힘든데 이렇게
하지만 나는 어쩔 수 없어
니 맘을 돌리긴 너무 늦은걸
끝나버렸어 어쩔 수 없어 이젠
한순간 내 몸에 익숙했던 니 손이 날 밀어내
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해
오늘 도 떠나간 너의 숨결 아직도 널 사랑해
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해 제발
제발 돌아와

난 니가 생각나 자꾸만 생각나
예전처럼 니 손 잡을 수가 없어
난 니가 너무 좋아서 너의 모든걸 못잊어
이 노래는 널 붙잡을 수 있는 노래
한순간 내 몸에 익숙했던 니 손이 날 밀어내
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해

오늘 도 떠나간 너의 숨결 아직도 널 사랑해
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해

나와 마주치던 그 눈빛으로 그댄 나를 다시 봐요
그 눈빛 내게 말을 해줄래 아직도 사랑한다고
한순간 내 몸에 익숙했던 니 손이 날 밀어내
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해
오늘 도 떠나간 너의 숨결 아직도 널 사랑해
나는 어떡해 나는 어떡해 제발
제발 사랑해

Rain, I'm anticipating your comeback!

2010-03-26T15:57:00.002+08:00

HAVING A FACEBOOK ACC IS NOTHING BIG. DON'T ASK YOUR FRIEND OR ANYONE TO CHECK ON ME. THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IN FACEBOOK. AS LONG AS I DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS & STRANGERS DON'T DISTURB ME, FINE. YOU'LL ONLY MAKE ME HATE YOU.

2010-03-23T15:35:00.003+08:00

We have no communication. A scar that won't fade in heart. Don't always say that I don't tell y'all things. Think first, how y'all react when I'm talking. I'm suddenly reminded of a song from Lady Gaga - Speechless. She wanted to dedicate this song to her father.

I can’t believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up
I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies
Could we fix you if you broke
And is your punch line just a joke
I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless
I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams
I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye
And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends
I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless
I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless
And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up
Could I give it all up for you
And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promise to you boy
That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along
I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless
Will you ever talk again
Oh boy, why you so speechless
You’ve left me speechless
Some men may follow me
But you choose “death and company”
Why you so speechless

Yea, I'll never talk again. Jaejoongie, take me away from here please.

2010-02-26T14:33:00.005+08:00

FOREVER 1ST: DBSK
2ND CRUSH: SHINee
RECENT/TEMPORARY CRUSH: CNBLUE's YongHwa (omo! seems like gonna end soon!)
COUPLE: YongHwa-SeoHyun couple
BABY CRUSHIE: YUGEUN!

GIRL CRUSH(ES): After School's Nana (pretty blondie! but went back to black)

Not forgetting SJ, someone surprisingly bought a SJ DVD for me. WOW! I hadn't thought of that! And I hope to see a speedy recovery from EunHyuk!

2010-02-16T18:55:00.004+08:00

With All My Heart

镜に映った挂け违えたシャツのボタン
そんな些细な事で君がいればよかったと思う
逢えない时间が仆らの爱を强くした？
言叶に诘まるならそっと頬にkissをしよう
それぞれを待つ日々は忙しく过ぎるけど
こんなにもこんなにもただ...
逢えなくてずっと君思うよ...心から君を
もう一度 my heart 伝えたくて
君が呼べば仆は行くよ
君のそばで笑いたいんだよ
ふとした瞬间伤ついてしまった心
ひとりじゃ直せない痛み仆が愈したいよ
今逢えない时ならただ君の面影を
抱きしめて抱きしめてほら...
どんな日もずっと君思うよ...心から君を
もう二度も your heart 离さないから
君が泣けば仆は行くよ
君の描く未来永远の梦を叶えたい I wish
逢いたくてずっと君思うよ...心から君を
何度でも to heart 赠る smile for you
悲しくても嬉しくても
君のそばで笑いたいんだよ
with all my heart
find me, I'll be there for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mJfxGsEIkEnd

2010-02-07T15:00:00.003+08:00

New crush - SHINee! Started liking them since Ring Ding Dong. Fallen in love with them 1 month plus ago. And so I became a Shawol. And I'm JongHyun-biased! Watch every episode of Hello Baby season 2. I wish I were YuGeun! [Main vocal. Blondie. Surname Kim. Eldest (JH is the 2nd eldest). Stands in the middle of the group. ~~Shortest~~. Consonant J. Below 60kg. p/s: I'm not trying to compare them, but just realised there are some similarities.]

Never have I forgotten the faith.

2010-01-29T16:39:00.005+08:00

Hooray! JJ's hair is once again blonde-d! LOVE!

Another hooray for 3 consecutive no-school-days! ARGH... But I wanna be at Sg this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really really really really really (etc) wanna be there!!!!! If not I'll be suffering from mental disorder..... *cries

I'm trying to be more caring & understanding. I mustn't be hot-tempered whenever I meet sth sucks... I WANNA BE A CARING & UNDERSTANDING NICOLE! Fighting!!!!!

2010-01-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR JJ!

I'm filled with busy schedules recently until today! I just use a little time to post this birthday bloggie since it's JJ's birthday! Happy 24th birthday! Despite the controversies revolving around you all, I am still always by your side. Do take care of yourselves and be happy always! I hope to see your comeback stage asap as five.

2009-12-26T12:40:00.003+08:00

lalala.. Finally! I'm updating my blog.

So.. yeah, yesterday was christmas. OH MAN! This year's christmas = HAPPY. I find this yr's christmas great maybe because I forgot what I did on the past few yrs' christmas day. I often forget things happened in a year when the year ends. So am I forgetting yr 2009 soon cause 2010 is around the corner. To prevent me from forgetting this yr's christmas.. I'm here posting.

So on 12/25 (yesterday), woke up early to have breakfast with relatives. My aunt from Hong Kong came back on christmas eve. A total of 12 people. The breakfast was arranged last minute and because of that I couldn't unwrap my christmas presents first. The relative ~~that I hate so much~~ was there too. That one who named me in chinese. It ended up my Dad footing the bill. SO! To my ~~dearest and ugliest~~ relative, we don't always 贪你的免费午餐, so this time keep your mouth SHUT!!!!!

Next, went to Mid Valley @ The Gardens. Did some shopping. And Dad suggested taking us and my aunt (from HK) to Genting, since another aunt kept on asking my Dad to drive them to Genting. You know, I have 5 aunts and 4 of them wanted to join us. No choice but to borrow Alphard from an uncle. So so... 4 aunts went to the casino first and Dad took Mum & I to buy handbags. Cause he'd promised to buy us handbags @ Genting. Lastly I bought a Paris Hilton handbag!!!!! lalala~ Dad & Mum got their Braun Buffel wallet and handbag too. Night at Genting was cosy.. Mist was everywhere.. so romantic!

By the time we got back it was already 11 sth night. Time to unwrap presents! (only those I like will be stated :p) I've got Roxy t-shirt which I was about to buy at Mid Valley and luckily I didn't. Slightly before 12 midnight, doorbell rang. It was my dearesssssttttt Wai Yee... gave me present. And the present was..... a cup... with JJ's faces on it!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA.. She often gives me surprise larh... And now I'm using the cup!

About the Sg trip post... I'll leave it to Qian Fei to post it. I'm so lazy... I had a nice time! Her family were kind + generous. Thank you!!!!! Shopping there is good... so bought clothes...

At the end of this post:
Happy 6th anniversary of TVXQ's debut. Well, at least they still perform as 5 in Jp. They still performed so well at Music Station Super Live 2009 yesterday. Smile always please :) Nothing can or will affect their relationship, I believe.

2009-11-30T14:50:00.004+08:00

At my Dad's office helping Dad. Actually there's nothing much to do. I just arranged documents and chopped them. And of course, online-ing. Easy job for me. Me and Dad almost finished all the chocolates Mum gave in the morning. Chocolates=fat! Helping Dad makes me feel like I'm a boss. XD Finally I can feel how hard Dad works. I must help him more often! At least some simple jobs. Call me, 'Little Boss'! XD

2009-11-27T20:52:00.002+08:00

NO WAY FOR JJ TO BE DATING WITH
ABIRU YUU!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! OR I'LL CRY!!!!!

Watched New Moon with a Korean classmate of mine. Cause everyone just couldn't make it after I phoned almost all my contacts in h/p. GOSH!!!!! Edward is... ARGH!!!!! GORGEOUS. Though less Edward more Jacob. The Victoria thing hasn't come to an end. I won't say anything about the storyline here in case anyone hasn't watched it yet. There were a few parts that I almost cried!! XD I love Edward! Once I watched it I texted Cherry. haha I know she's not into Edward. Edward is my thing. XD Do support New Moon. New Moon is my favourite among the three movies I watched within this week.

JS will be participating in acting. A musical drama. Concerto Love was the 1st musical drama I watched and JS's will be the next one. Xiahzart~!

2009-11-23T12:23:00.002+08:00

Jennifer's Body totally made my yesterday's night. Couldn't sleep at all. Actually I wasn't really scared of being eaten by Megan Fox or that she would come and find me because I kept on praying. But don't know why my heart was just beating so so fast. I texted someone and told 'someone' I was afraid, "where are you". Unexpectedly, 'someone' replied me instantly. After I replied, it had been quite a moment my phone had no reaction. And so I called after thousands of hesitation. 'Someone' said would call me later cause had to drive. And so I waited. I had waited for the phone call for exactly 45 minutes. My brain was blank. I just kept on telling myself, the phone would definitely ring. Imagine, me lying on my bed, grasping my cell-phone so firmly, hopefully could receive a phone call. After that long period of 3/4 hour, I texted that particular person. In the end it was just an SMS which said that there was sth up and couldn't phone me. Does that mean, if I hadn't texted 'someone', I would be waiting and waiting and waiting, without knowing that I wouldn't get a phone call from that person.

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care

2009-11-22T19:24:00.002+08:00

Today. Rushed to Mid Valley with Kar Yee in the morning to meet Callie. We bought Jennifer's Body's tickets. At first I didn't know that it was a horror movie, until I went in and they told me!!!!! It was so scary!!!!! Yup, Megan Fox was amazingly pretty and sexy. Covered my face during the horror parts. Only me and Callie were afraid, unlike Kar Yee and... the egg.

On the cinema floor, to my amazement and surprisingly, I saw someone. XD Callie said she asked me to go over there, and by using my intelligent brain, I didn't believe her. XD She's doing part-time job, I guess. Passed by there several times. She's cute.

2009-11-19T13:54:00.004+08:00

What am I doing... Well... Yesterday posted only JJ's, today both JJ and HHJ.

2009-11-18T12:04:00.004+08:00

I actually typed some words but I erased.

Don't ever challenge my patience.

What if time really stops? Words sticking beside my lips but just can't make them in sentences. Let's say time stops now, I'm posting pictures.

I wish I could be at the cinema in Korea.

2009-11-14T19:58:00.003+08:00

It's complicated. Deleted some of the previous posts. I just can't see the end of this lawsuit case. I have a thousand words to say but don't know where to start and how to say. Read Airel's post. I agree with her. Seeing she answer the tag, tears dropped. I'm such useless. Been crying these days. Have some other problems to deal with. It will never end. I just want to be happy, buying their 5th, 6th, 7th, etc albums. Without them, I'll just be an ordinary little girl who doesn't have her favourite idol, cause her love ones will be kept in her heart.

Postman to Heaven. Another cry seeing JJ kissing Han HyoJu. And I just LOVE the OST. I guess it's the OST that makes me cry lots.

2009-10-26T16:27:00.008+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA My sister-in-law has got married. HAHAHAHAHA Other ladies, please get away from my JJ!!!!! except for his sisters. JJ and JS sang 'to my bride'. YC was late if not mistaken. ARGHHHHH... JJ's sister (the bride) kissed him on his fair face!!!!! *cry... I'll forgive her, for she's my sister-in-law. HAHAHAHAHA How I wish JJ can sing this song to me during our wedding ceremony. I can't bear any longer until I could pinch his cute cute face!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA I'm hiding under my computer table in case anyone wants to smack me or whatever. (puppy eyes)

HELP!! The lips is getting closer and closer!!!!!

KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After kissing is pinching time!

After pinching, laugh together!

Heaven's Postman's releasing date is now updated as 11/12. Is it true this time? Don't let me be disappointed again!

Okay, there's an investigation on who's the best of each category. The best looking korean, the best looking korean male, the best cute asian male, the best looking asian male, the best DBSK member, the best skin, the best singer, the best body, the best korean model, the best lips (male), the best male asian artist, the best guy, the best male, the best sexiest male alive, the best looking male model, the best asian, the best looking asian model, the best person born in 1986, the best laugh, the best high notes, the best man, the best answer to s e x. A total of 22 titles, JJ's got all 1st position! HAHA Looking through all the titles, and suddenly I saw the last one. OMG s e x ?? Why do people love to put title like this?? I mean... imagine what they are imagining... OMG!!!!!

2009-10-23T19:12:00.003+08:00

Why is the connection speed so slow?????

Frequent headache kills me!

Female groups are hot recently! I've found some favourite members.
SNSD: Yuri
4minute: HyunA, JiYun
f(x): Victoria
BEG (do I like them?): GaIn
Actually I just want to say I like HyunA! She's... don't know. Just like her. At first was Victoria. Vic's pretty. From Hot Issue to Muzik to What A Girl Wants. I hope What A Girl Wants can get good response as Hot Issue and Muzik got. HyunA HyunA HyunA HyunA HyunA!

I feel like singing my feelings out. Let's go 'cheong K', anyone? I thought we planned?

I have my lovely family and friends. Satisfied...

2009-10-22T18:01:00.002+08:00

Yesterday just wondering about when Heaven's Postman will be showing, today just found out that it will be on 11/25. I'm so happy! Oh yeah! My Jae!

Dad came back with a big smile on his face. XD Changed new car. haha I'm glad that Dad is happy.

2009-10-20T17:44:00.003+08:00

Now what?! Well... My lovely Jae kissed (I'm gonna cry if I see that... his kissable red lips... And when will it be shown larh??). Next, YunHo kissed. Okay, Go Ara is alright for me. I'm glad that they had only one shot. Wait! How about my Jae????? How many shots did he have????? Argh... Kill me please... Will ChangMin kiss too in his 1st drama? Oh... Well, Lee YeonHui is okay. I guess Heading to the Ground is not so so boring larh... At least the most recent episodes talk more about love. Yeah, I like to watch the love part.

Chit-chat with Callie. Badminton with MunRu and HsianXuan.

Blablablablabla... I have nothing to say. Just look forward to Singapore trip! Countdown: 52 days. I just lurrrvve shopping at Sg!

2009-10-18T16:34:00.002+08:00

Waiting for Dad to come back and ask him whether my Singapore trip with Qian Fei is confirmed. I hope Dad says yes! I'm so excited! I wanna go there! I must start to countdown! I can't wait! We've already discussed how to go, what to eat, where to shop, where to live...

Oh my... Katrina is like an angel! So beautiful... She's not the champion... That @#$%^&* Miss M'sia is so uglx. I hate her when I first saw her!!!!! Unlike Katrina, she's caught my eye since 1st audition. And she's the 最上镜小姐! Arh... Such a pretty lady. She's the 1st runner-up, but she's the most beautiful!

An after-exam post

2009-10-14T15:51:00.003+08:00

I seriously want to go to Shenzhen!!!!! So, yesterday I asked Dad. He asked me why, I said concert. Then he just ignored me! How dare he?! >.< I'm desperate for Dad's a word of "yes"!!!!!

The choice I mentioned a few posts ago, is c. Someone chose and and someone doesn't quite agree with that and someone agrees.

Fallen in love with TTL (Time To Love). Just like this song once I heard it @ Music Bank. I just like the vocal part. XD

MIROTIC CON @ SHANGHAI

2009-10-04T13:48:00.002+08:00

I'M GETTING CRAZY!!!!! KILL ME PLEASE!!!!!

Choice

2009-10-02T19:11:00.003+08:00

A choice: h or c? b or t? Well, I'm not the one who's supposed to decide it.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't have named myself my current chinese name. I really, I mean REALLY hate it. I hate it until I want to keep on 'yuck-ing' it. It was named by one of my relative, who is extremely YUCKSZZZZZ. Because my parents both don't know Chinese. It might be possible that the yuck-ing relative purposely named such a name for me because she doesn't quite like me, esp after an incident that happened few years ago. She accused me for doing sth. In fact I did not. And so the school like gave me a punishment (me and her younger daughter were in the same class). After that many little things happened and she hated me even more. Until one day for an I've-forgotten-reason, she scolded me. Of course I cried because I was still young. Once my Dad knew it, he purposely drove the car at night straight to her house and scolded her back because I did nothing wrong. (She's my Dad's sister-in-law.) Dad ROCKSS!! The reason she hates me, I'm cleverer than her two daughters. HAHAHAHAHA. She only knows how to fill up her daughters' time by letting them attending tuitionSS. So every time I'm asked to write my full name, I would just write Nicole Low (full-stop). If my chinese name is called, my internal expression would be like =.=. Maybe that's why I love my english name. It's getting more and more popular though, like you can find anyone at anywhere whose name is the same as mine.

I want to be in Shanghai now :(.

Fed up

2009-09-30T18:13:00.002+08:00

Nah... I'm totally fed up. Editing blog template is tiring. I'm suffering from headache. I know the chatbox has covered a little part of the post. I just don't want to edit anymore. And I don't know how to adjust it. The headache is gonna KILL me!!

I just love my screen-saver. I love my desktop. I love my computer. But I hate my h/p. I have to continue using for 1 more year. This frustrates me.

There are too many lovely things in this world. I may not possess the loveliest one, but I'm glad I'm here in this pretty world.

Be my shelter.

Missing you

2009-09-28T18:29:00.003+08:00

Melodix show. JJ really has 'tsukkomi' talent. XD When the MC asked them to try, I was like, shocked by JJ because of his rapid reaction. How on earth did he react so quick? And then when YC put the torchlight under his chin, JJ just said "you're cute". Then the others burst out laughing. HAHA.. Before it ended they sang Colors ~Melody And Harmony~. My heart melts [lol] listening to JJ's voice. It's really like angel singing...
I couldn't find Music Fair with subs.
It's been so long that I haven't seen JS on shows [did I just say been so long?]. When will he come back? Still travelling with family? I miss you. =( I miss 5 of you being together.

Having several accounts is troublesome.

It's alright if you don't tell me. I feel disappointed to you. I bet I won't know it forever if I didn't find out.

To NL

2009-09-26T12:54:00.003+08:00

Don't give up. I'll always be supporting you. Btw, you're so cute~ And you're cool on court, with your perfect skills. Love ya, Lili.

(Don't talk to me today.)

사랑인걸요

2009-09-24T14:25:00.003+08:00

난 그댈 지나쳐 갈 때면
하루 종일 가슴이 떨려요
홀로 그대를 그리고 있죠
자꾸 그대란 자국이 남아요
우연인 듯 부딪혀 가도
난 멍하니 고개를 숙여요
문득 그대와 마주 칠 때도
수줍은 미소만 보여요
그대 이제는 알 수 있나요
그대 이제는 내 맘 볼 수 있죠
소리도 없이 다가온 사랑이
그대는 그대는 들리나요
처음부터 내 사랑인걸요
차가운 내 맘에 따스히 비추죠
한걸음 한걸음 다가오는 사랑
난 조금은 두렵지만
설레이는 내 사랑인걸요
비오듯 사랑이 내 맘을 적셔요
내 맘이 내 맘이 이젠 사랑인걸요
그대 그리운만큼
그대 이제는 알 수 있나요
그대 이제는 내 맘 볼 수 있죠
소리도 없이 다가온 사랑이
그대는 그대는 들리나요
처음부터 내 사랑인걸요
차가운 내 맘에 따스히 비추죠
한걸음 한걸음 다가오는 사랑
난 조금은 두렵지만
설레이는 내 사랑인걸요
비오듯 사랑이 내 맘을 적셔요
내 맘이 내 맘이 정말 사랑인걸요
그대 그리운만큼
이제 사랑인걸요

Why did you 放我飞机... I wanted to sing out my heart. Now I can't. No one sings with me. Why am I feeling so uncomfortable? What am I thinking? No one knows me. No one knows my desire, maybe even myself too.

I hope I could be one of the participants in the international fan song project.

-----
It's definitely a good road for my Lili towards the title of Jp Open XD, with the sudden absence of Lee Yong Dae / Lee Hyo Jung, Zheng Bo / Ma Jin, He Han Bin / Yu Yang. Lili / Nova will most likely meet that @#$%^&* Danish pair in finals. Good luck!!!!!

What's going on?

2009-09-21T16:15:00.001+08:00

Girl-groups are being active whereas boy-groups... involved in implosions.

For G-Dragon, Sony announced their verdict regarding plagiarism issues to YG. Is 'Heartbreaker' really so similar to 'Right Round'? I don't know. Anyway GD can still make a getaway to new set of promotions with 'Breathe' since it has been released. The other hand, he was found smoking in public. It seemed as if he didn't care about being caught smoking in public. Yup, it's his own private matter. But didn't he participate in an anti-smoking campaign last year?

For Kangin, fortunately his act would be counted as self-defense. But still must go to court. No charges towards Kangin.

For Jaebeom. How would 2PM be in the future?

And for my dearest. There will be a lot to say...

-----
Thanks to JS for the beginning part melody which makes 'Shelter' such a nice song, composed by JJ and JS.

Heading for Pavilion with Wai Yee on Fri. We're gonna sing & shop until crazy.

I can't live without Your voice.

5S

2009-09-18T10:44:00.006+08:00

Silver
This is not my favourite colour.

Shelter
The audio preview isn't clear. Couldn't listen it well. Shall be able to on 30th.

Steak
I love eating steak, esp lamb and beef, I mean wagyu beef. Alexis's is nice. I couldn't stop eating. Not to mention, the calories... high in calories...

Sweets
Guess what sweets I'm trying to buy. XD I hope she can buy it, or else I'll be heartbroken... no la... Just feel a little disappointed.

Self-satisfaction
I buy branded things not to show off, puh-leazzz. It's a kinda self-satisfaction. I'll be satisfied with myself when having them. Don't misunderstand me. I know true friends won't.

-----
9/18 Heaven's Postman!!!!! I can't wait until I can watch it.

"I want to embrace you. I hope to keep on embracing you." Isn't this romantic? haha~ I want to embrace You. I love Your everything. You're my everything.

Heading for Overseas tonight with my family and my dear Wai Yee's family. She's been having a tough week, I think, after suffocating in the SPM trial exam week. Good luck to you!!

I recommend all of you to enter this website and play: http://en.akinator.com/#
It's... gosh... It's... so accurate!! XD Think of a person and after answering some questions, it will guess the person you think of correctly!!!!!

5H

2009-09-05T18:49:00.003+08:00

Heartbreaker

You're my heartbreaker. I can't breathe. (G-Dragon is cool!!!!! I like his hair, esp the colour.)

Hands

재중 오빠가 예쁜 손이 있는 여자를 좋아해. 내 손이 예뻐야 해요~

Heaven's Postman

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting... 9/18 premiere. Maybe I can watch in Oct?? I dislike the picture below. lol

Heading to the Ground

Why must every drama or movie include kissing scene... or maybe CPR scene... (I'm not posting the pictures here, if not I'll get crazy.)

Having a pet dog

I want to rear Maltese!!!!! But Dad said no... Isn't Mangdungi cute??

I chose 5H because I like the number 5.

Angry? No? Yes?

2009-09-01T16:10:00.003+08:00

I was to post a blog about today's Eng period. But I didn't. After all I'm not so angry now compared to this morning. Maybe I just don't care about what teachers say or comment on me. I might be very angry at that very moment, but later it would be nothing to me.

But now I'm angry at another thing.
A person in my forum called xvfxq_heroine posted a thread titled [ about dbsk BODY].
Below is the content:
arggg!!!!! here got which cassiopeia dont like DBSK dont wear shirt?? i hate it... i got a weird feeling of they doing like that ....especially jaejoong..... arg ...i just dont like....and why he has no armpit hair?? lol.... he got cut it??

which friends agree with me?? i mean who also think that they dont like see them without their shirt ...can please dont put off you guys' cloth !!!! arg..i jsut dont like...not even sexy...ahha.... really...i dont think that sexy... they so show off....why put off their cloth?? not cold?? plus now....i mean... recently...they got many picture of wearing no cloth...lol.....arg..... dbsk ...please dont do it!! hahaha..

wear shirt ...and dont show off you guys' muscle... im hungry now...kla....bye friends!! :)

Duh... I was extremely angry. 1st, if you don't like them then please leave that forum. 2nd, I just know that if I really love somebody I will accept all kinds of them. 3rd, I HATE people saying bad things about them. 4th, it took me quite a while to understand what he/she was trying to say in Eng. I reply his/her thread, calmly:
Why did you say like that?
I didn't mean to argue with you.
Just that in my opinion, if I love somebody,
I will accept all kinds of them.

I say this just to protect my love ones not being hurt by others in words or in actions. Sorry if I've said anything that you don't like.

I'm hot now!!!!! That stupid lighted up my anger!! Don't let me recognise you or else...!!!!!

Cry

2009-08-29T19:18:00.002+08:00

[cry1] I miss my old blogskin... Why did you treat me like that????? Don't you want me anymore????? [/cry1]

[CRY2] I must believe in them. I really saw it with my pair of naked eyes in Music Bank - 동방신기 믿어. I have to trust them 100%. [/CRY2]

[cry3] I hate when school reopens. I don't wanna go to school!! [/cry3]

[cry4] Why is the connection so slow? @#$%^&* [/cry4]

[cry5] I really feel like crying... [/cry5]

-----
Just saw a few pictures of f(x) members. Victoria (22) is quite pretty, will she be the leader? Krystal's pretty too. Just 14. Younger than me. Amber is... cool! Have no comments on the other two members.

Dad

2009-08-24T13:36:00.002+08:00

I know I'm not a rich man's daughter. I really know that.
But still I like to spend money.
I know Dad works very hard to earn money.
Dad is a generous guy. I can almost have everything I want as long as the reason for having it is reasonable.
"Dad, that bag is quite nice, isn't it?"
"OK la.. "
After a while,
"How much is it?"
"RMxxx"
"Does it have any discount?"
"10%"
Few seconds later, "Let's see. You really like it?"
He intended to buy it for me.
Eventually I refused. After thinking twice, yes, I want it; but I don't need it.
I've already have one which is the same brand as that.
I told myself, Dad really works very hard to earn $$$$$; I shouldn't spend money like crazy.
"Dad, do you want to buy clothes for me?"
I've actually bought a lot of clothes from Jan 2009 until now.
"Let's check it out. Which one?"
I pointed, "This."
"How much is it?"
"RMxxx"
After looking at the blouse up and down, "You like it?"
"Isn't it nice?"
"Go and try and see."
"Don't want la.." In the end I refused. (Don't feel like hitting me)
I told myself again, Dad works very hard. I shouldn't spend money like crazy.
I didn't buy anything at all. But I feel glad cause Dad is willing to buy things that I like for me just that I keep on telling myself, Dad really works too hard. I shouldn't continue spending money like this or else we'll go bankrupt.

About my lovely they...
I don't buy all of their products. [feel ashamed :(]
For album, I'll surely buy all of them. Others like DVDs or singles etc, I still buy, but not all. I buy those that I really really want. Again, I know they would cost a lot. So, in order to have them, I'll work hard at my studies to get them as a reward. Seeing me being so mature, Dad will buy them for me, since I want them to the death.

My Dad may not be the best, but to me, he is the greatest ever Dad in the whole wide world.

12시34분

2009-08-16T15:25:00.003+08:00

지난 과거속에 흩어졌던 시간들과
수줍은 미소를 나눈 우리들의 거리 그 사이를 살며시 물들여준 보라빛 바다
아직 그리 오래된 연인은 아니지만
너와 나 같은 곳을 바라보며 하나 둘 새겨놓은
희미한 발자국이 내게 있어 nothing better than that
어느새부터 자연스레 내안에 자라온 외로움에
나아닌 누군가를 소중하게 생각한적 없던 날들
아침을 괴롭히는 눈이부신 햇살 늦은 밤 길 비추는 환한 달빛
작고 순수했던 기억에 토라지고 가슴 설레어
이제 깨달았죠 단 하나의 사랑인걸
나몰래 흘린 눈물 기억나지 않게 언제라도
따스한 바람 되어 널 감싸안을께
가끔 환상처럼 사라질까 두려워져
언제나 비가와도 칠흙같이 캄캄한 어둠이 와도
그대 곁에서 기다릴께 nothing better than that
수화기 넘어 계속 재잘대던 수다
때로는 넘어져서 툴툴대는
내곁을 지켜주는 니 말투 네 몸짓이 나를 웃게해
지난 과거속에 흩어졌던 시간들과
수줍은 미소를 나눈 우리들의 거리 그 사이를 살며시 물들여준 보라빛 바다
아직 그리 오래된 연인은 아니지만
너와 나 같은 곳을 바라보며 하나 둘 새겨놓은
희미한 발자국이 내게 있어 nothing better than that
하루 내 꽃피고 시드는 세상 수억개의 사랑
새겨지고 지워져도 널 향한 내 마음 (끝이 없어)
셀 수 없는 시간 천천히 흘러가도
처음 사랑을 약속한 그날 그대로 영원할테죠
이제 깨달았죠 단 하나의 사랑인걸
나몰래 흘린 눈물 기억나지 않게 언제라도
따스한 바람 되어 널 감싸안을께
가끔 환상처럼 사라질까 두려워져
언제나 비가와도 칠흙같이 캄캄한 어둠이 와도
그대 곁에서
나무가 되서
쉴 곳을 주고
헤메지 않게 등불이 되서
널 기다릴께 nothing better than that

This song... really don't know how to describe. Really love it. ChangMin really has a talent in writing lyrics I think. They've fully occupied my little heart.

2009-08-12T12:23:00.002+08:00

Saw Callie's blog.
ahaha
I'm so glad that she wrote about me.
Because she seldom writes about me. :D
I only hope she'll be happy when seeing that present.
I hope it's a memorable present for her.
I really put in a lot of effort. (puppy eyes)
Callie, I'll make you sth like this when your birthday.
AHAHA
What kind of shape do you want? XD
Don't ask me to make a Jay Chou shape then it's fine. XD

Tomorrow.
School reopens.
What a short holiday.
I don't wanna go to school!!!!!

Actually I've received some mobile games from a relative of mine on Sunday.
I find one interesting.
Called "super puzzle bubble".
It's like... you shoot different colours of bubbles to the top,
if 3 or more same-coloured bubbles meet each other,
then it'll vanish. And so...
I find it quite fun.
Actually I've known this game since I'm quite young.
Just that it could only be played in "da gei cheong".
And now I'm totally addicted to it!!

Somehow I went to see sb's profile.
Then when I saw her photo albums...
A word appeared in my mind -- "jit doh"
Her name is gxxle.
I'm sure you know, right Callie?

The last day's coming nearer to us

2009-08-06T16:11:00.004+08:00

It is stated that the whole world will vanish on the last day our Earth's life.
And before that,
people will suffer from different types of new and varied diseases and illnesses,
that their cure haven't been discovered by scientists.
Like now, every type of diseases is attacking our world,
H1N1, varied H1N1 -- H3N2, an illness that has sth to do with rats in China...
So people will die before the world vanishes.
What about those left?
Where would they go after the Earth isn't here anymore??
Feel curious...
Will I live until that day?
I do hope so,
at least I can know what is happening at that time.
Do people afraid of death?
Majority yes.
I belong to the minority one.
Someone worries that she can't date a guy before she dies because she has never dated anyone before...
Duh...
Well, even if you haven't dated anyone, at least you've loved someone before.
I think love is a really deep feeling that we have towards someone.
Though there are still people don't take it serious.
I wonder what will happen after all the living things have vanished...

No more disband rumours please

2009-08-05T18:08:00.002+08:00

Some news stated that the case won't affect whether they will disband or not. Those are confirmed official news, I think. And, they surely won't disband. Thank God for realizing my hope. Hope that they can get their benefits back.
About JJ's twitter account, I always don't believe that it is really JJ using it. At last it's been confirmed that it's fake!! Not JJ using the acc. nananananana~
Keep it up for upcoming A-nation perf.

I LOVE MY NEW BLOGSKIN!!
THANK YOU MUNRU FOR HELPING ME TO CHANGE IT. I love you. (yucks... XD)

How come?!

2009-08-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

Everyone who loves them are talking about it... Why has things become like this? I thought they will forever be together attending activities... Why must they divide into solos or little groups?? And what are those news about?? Forgive me for being emo today cause of the news...

A faint-ing day

2009-07-29T16:51:00.000+08:00

First JJ, then YH, now CM... WOW!! I wonder why is it all coming so sudden?? First faint...
I'll be busy watching their shows... Second faint...
Contents of AA3 are REALLY SSSOOO attractive... Third faint...
Can I afford to buy?? Or should I say, does Dad allow me to buy?? Fourth faint...
Time needed to sell all the tickets... Fifth faint...

Faint faint faint faint faint...

2009-07-24T19:56:00.000+08:00

I'm self-absorbed
As well as selfish
I'm easily provoked
Will lose self-control sometimes
Actually
I'm quite a snob
But I won't be snobbish to true friends
Friends that I value

There are many things that I'm longing for... I know I can't have each and every of those... But I will try my best... However... there are sth that I won't get it even if I've done my best... Because it is beyond my control...

Ryan, there's still me supporting you!! Hope to see improvement at your singing... I'm sure you can do it!! Your dance is just nice!! Just do your best tomorrow. Don't bother about what those stupid brainless people talking about you... If they're just so good, they should participate instead. I got very angry when seeing them attacking you in words. After all, they are just NOTHING!!!!! So keep it up at your dance and brush up your singing. You are qualified to be the winner!!!!! (And I'm voting for you!)

2009-07-17T18:54:00.000+08:00

Qian Fei listed my name, so I have to answer...

Part 1

1。你的大名？Nicole. I like my name.

2。你认为什么才算是真正幸福？Seeing them singing forever...

3。你觉得友情重要还是爱情重要，为什么？Friendship, no reason

4。你相信天长地久吗？No

6。你现在过得快乐么？Just live like ordinary people.

7。如果有秘密，你真的会做到坦白的告诉对方吗？Depending

8。喜欢小baby吗？I love babies, provided that they're not female... XD

9。觉得友情是永远的么？True friends are.

10。希望自己多大结婚？Won't get married, most likely... haha

11。你会为他做自己从来不会做的事情？Depending

12。你觉得女生卷发好还是直发好？Depending too. Don't like too curly one.

13。最想去哪里旅游？Jp, France

14。一辈子都不会忘记的事？Kept in my heart

15。如果爱一个人，是不是要拼命挽回他？No

16。看到天空你第一个想起的人是谁？Nobody

17。你会爱他一辈子么？Don't think so

18。喜欢你的人和你喜欢的人，你会选哪个？I want both.

19。你会以何种方式表现你对他的爱？Learn to cook... ahahahaha

20。如果看到自己最爱的人熟睡在你面前你会做什么？抱着他？Embracing him will wake him up... so ... just look at him... XD *shy

21。如果你想痛扁一个人，你希望那个人是？Can't think of anyone now

22。你会后悔过自己的决定吗？Yes.. It was such a stupid decision I made that time.

23。现在最迷什么？A Korean group.

24。你是好孩子吗？Considered as...

25。觉得爱情和面包哪个重要？Love. I hate eating bread. XD

26。如果你失恋了你会怎么样？Cry

27。如果你的bf经常不回家的话，你会怎样？Hate him.

Part 2

1。是谁传给你这份问卷的？Qian Fei

2。你们认识多久呢？nearly 4 years

3。他对你来说重要吗？of course, friends

4。你与他的关系是？friends =.=

5。请问他的兴趣是？Lee Yong Dae and pink

6。你觉得他的个性如何？Crazy

7。他在你心目中是几分？98%. minus 1 because no one is perfect, minus 1 more for her craziness

8。睡觉前第一件事？开风扇？喝水？Writing diary.

9。你的偶像？Who else? Their pictures have filled my blog

10。你喜欢的季节？Winter winter winter!!!!!

11。你打工么？no

12。打工次数？0

13。你想去的国家？Jp, France

14。你讨厌什么样的个性？female character, such as 发乔、hesitating, 打破砂锅问到底 etc

15。你会抽烟么？no

16。你会喝酒么？yes

17。你常哭么？ask Callie or Mun Ru

18。你常笑么？yes... Not smile, laugh.

19。你喜欢去哪玩？Korea

20。去玩时喜欢自己一个人去么？It's okay for me to go alone.

21。是假日时你都睡到几点？Latest 10 sth

22。今天的天气是？Everyday is HOT!!!!!

23。你们知道最远的距离是什么吗？=.= Don't ask silly questions

Part 3

1。我的BGM好听么？What's that?

2。你的皮包里有什么说说吧 $$$$$, I/C, membership cards...

3。你生命中最重要的人是？Those who filled my blog... hehehe. and my parents of course

4。什么是你喜欢吃的呀？Jp food, seafood... yummy food

5。现在有喜欢的人吗？don't know

6。你还喜欢他吗？don't know

7。你觉得我坏吗？Who are you referring?

8。现在的你，在想什么？Should I go to school tomorrow?

9。你觉得我怎样？Again, who are you?

10。每天起床后第一件事是什么？Swithc-off air-cond

My AA3...

2009-07-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

What a sad day... I got 4th position... I'm satisfied but on the other hand I'm not... Because!!!!! I can only buy AA3 if I get top 3. =.=lll lol lol lol lol lol Stupid lazy me... Why didn't I go to school on 5/18????? If I had gone to school that day, my marks wouldn't have been deducted... 0.2... My lazinesssssss... But even if I gained back the 0.2 I wouldn't get 3rd also... haiz... I won't break what I've promised. No top 3, no AA3. But at least I maintained!! haiz... I will work even harder next term, to buy AA3!!!!! AA3, wait for me!!!!! Luckily I can buy TSC@Tokyo Dome. hahahahahaha... I can't wait to have it!!!!!!

Harry Potter, wait for me as well. I will watch you in a week's time.

如果我变成回忆

2009-07-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

累了照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中不听话的就停止了
听着呼吸像浪潮拍动着
越没力越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏都难掌握
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣 我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚前着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你 我不怪你
快乐什么时候会结束呢
哪一颗是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的最舍不得
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣 我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你
如果我变成回忆最怕我太不争气
顽固的赖在空气满占你心里每一寸缝隙
原来依然爱我的你总哭承受失去
这样不公平请你尽力把我忘记

-----
Really and only hope that I can pass my Grade 8 piano la... Was nervous until kept on making mistakes... Worst of all, I restarted!!!!! haiz...
-----
Tomorrow Mirotic in BeiJing. When can M'sia have it?????!!!!! haiz...

2009-07-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

Ryan is so handsome!! XD wahaha... His dance was quite OK, still can improve and he'll get better. haha That day only I knew that he was the one who sang Hug in the advertisement. Hope he can be the champion!!

I think it is about 11pm now in Jp. I think the concert has just over. I hope it was fun though I wasn't there. Tomorrow's the last day!! ganbatte!! I'll buy you for sure as soon as you're released on 2009/9/30. I think it takes about two weeks or more to reach M'sia. haha

Women Wiping Out Project

2009-07-01T18:55:00.000+08:00

Women Wiping Out Project in currently in progress. I hate women, esp women who dance. Gets me crazy... *sobs 3 out of 5!! OMG I can't think positive.

The Secret Code @ Tokyo Dome day 1 countdown 3 days.
The Secret Code @ Tokyo Dome day 2 countdown 4 days.
ganbatte!!!!!

I'm back!!!!! Finally...

2009-06-28T10:32:00.000+08:00

Actually I wanted to go online yesterday but I had no time. My Dad's birthday!!!!! XD As it was his 50th birthday, he had to foot the bill for the dinner, all of his siblings and their family attended. This is a tradition of his family, and this was the last time doing this tradition because my Dad was the youngest among his siblings. Of course, my cute nephew came as well. Did I tell that his name is Delas? XD Everyone wanted to take photo with him because he's very handsome!! XD Everyone likes his beautiful eyes... including me!! XD And I only managed to took 2 photos with him. He is so CUTE!!!!! The cake that Mom bought from Secret Recipe, he ate a lot!! XD I think he likes the cake very much. He's like a star, ppl fighting to take photo with him... XD

At last, today, I have time to online. And I rushed to download all the shows that I've missed during the exam week. And I miss them a lot!!!!! Really, I hope they won't get influenza in Thailand. (touch wood) You know, there are nearly 1000 cases there... Tonight's the last night they are in Thailand for concert. Fighting!!!!!!!!!! Seeing their concert video and photos... I wish I could be there... Sad...

Who said they will break up?????!!!!! I'm gonna kill you. They won't break up. They can't break up.

Night of 6/19

2009-06-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

WAHAHAHA. Went to Mid Valley to watch movie. With Airel. We were supposed to contact each other when we reached there. I kept on calling her but no one answered the phone. I was thinking how should I contact her????? So I couldn't wait and went to collect tickets 1st, I was afraid that if I was late they would sell the tickets to others. XD Then when I came down from the cinema floor someone patted on my shoulder and, it was Airel. XD Luckily she found me because she said she had left her h/p at home. XD Then we went for dinner 1st. We talked about sth that were... that couldn't be told here. XD Considered as secret I think. XD And so we went for Dance Subaru. I was concentrating on the movie because I was afraid that I would miss the part I'd been waiting for. XD At around the middle part of the movie, I heard a familiar opening of a song.. And so they appeared!! Singing Jp vers of The Way You Are. I was like finding Airel's hand to shake (haha) but I couldn't find. lol JJ was the 1st who sang, followed by CM and JS. The 1st chorus hadn't even been sung and, no more. Their part had ended. lol YH and YC didn't even sing. It was so short. haiz... At the part where Subaru and her teacher (Was she called teacher? the woman) hugging each other as Subaru was leaving for Shanghai, Bolero came in. It was sudden, I didn't prepare myself. XD Actually the movie was OK, and Meisa Kuroki (Subaru) was slim. We were the last to leave the cinema because after the movie ended there were still some scenes. And guess what? There were two scenes if I'm not mistaken, of their guest-starring part. And finally I saw YH singing, as well as CM. I think I didn't see YC singing... Just dancing... But nvm, they were all in the movie. I had an excited night yesterday!!!!!

Yesterday was fun

2009-06-13T11:24:00.000+08:00

Talk about just now first. I watched the preview again. T.T Until my Mom asked me, "Why are you watching so many times a? You've watched until I remember that part (where Han HyoJu is shouting at the sky)" XD I can't help!!!!! At first, I was told that it would be showing in May, and then I was told that in Sept. And then I was told again it will be screening on cinemas in Korea end of July, then screening on Kor and Jp TV channels in around Oct. So when can I watch it????? I've been waiting and waiting and waiting... My neck's going to be like a giraffe's.

First, daytime, sang K with MunRu and her sister at Red Box@Gardens. I sang Kor, Jp, Eng, Ch songs. XD I was so glad that there were TVXQ's new songs, although it was not complete. And there was 98 degrees' My Everything too. MunRu's sister did not sing at all, she had a mic though. After singing, we went to Mid Valley and "da gei". XD Actually I really like "da gei". I like racing car, gun shooting, drums. It was the drums' fault that made my hands being painful.

Then at night, at relative's house. Sang K again. The home karaoke system doesn't have many songs, or maybe I should say doesn't have songs that I like, most of them are old songs, really really old. Meant for elders. So I only sang a few. But the most interesting was I took a lot of pictures of my cute little... erm... nephew (is it called nephew? cousin's son). He doesn't seem 上镜, but he is really very very cute!!!!! He pretended taking a sword out when he was riding the iGallop. He also sang a few sentences from few songs. XD So CUTE!!!!! He has girl-ly features. And my Dad sang until "durian forgotten to go back". XD

Below are my nephew's (?) pictures
He was riding the iGallop.

I just like his double-eyelid

He was playing... wooden blocks

He was looking at me XD

6/11

2009-06-11T15:35:00.000+08:00

Nothing to do, so "walked" around in youtube. And I think I almost finish watching all versions of Heaven's Postman preview. The best I watched was the 3'12" version. Although I could only understand a few sentences, it made me cry again =.= I know there's nothing to cry about... T.T Btw, the part that JaeJoong driving, or maybe "racing" the car was SSOOOOOO handsome!!!!! XD I guess when I watch the movie I'll cry even more. Actually Han HyoJu is quite pretty, just that I don't quite like her short-hair look. Long hair suits her better.

6/8

2009-06-08T13:42:00.000+08:00

It seems like I'm living in the past. Been thinking of the past... Yes, I had really made a big mistake in the past.

-----

I still can't forget the kissing scene. Please help me to get rid of it!!!!! ARRARRARRARRARR...

-----

Waiting for 6/20 to arrive. You know what? hahaha... Not telling... lol 12 days to go...
Holiday is so boring. Nothing to do... I wish I can use Dad's vouchers to go Genting without paying admission fee... haha... Valid till 7/31. There's still chance.

-----

I wonder why is 16 called sweet 16. If it is true, then I'll wait until 2010/5/13, whether there's any sweet things happen. And sexy 17 starts on 2010/5/14. hahaha XD

-----

No, I can't say no!!!!!

Happy birthday Micky!!!!!

2009-06-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

6/4 - Micky's birthday. I went to their official website to leave a birthday message.

Just now, I've done a stupid thing. I hadn't downloaded that part but I closed it. So I had to reload it again. haiz...

I watched the kissing scene preview of Heaven's Postman. It really drives me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The 1st time I saw it was quite OK, maybe I didn't see it clearly. But I kept on watching it... couldn't help... repeat and repeat... The 2nd time onwards when I see JaeJoong kissing Han HyoJu, .............. then my tears will drop. I know!! I know there's nothing to cry about!! But for no reason I'm crying!! How would I know why?! I just don't want him kissing other ladies!! Not that I want him to kiss me =.= (I know it won't happen) But I just don't want him to kiss any ladies!!!!! The background song is so nice, it's JaeJoong's voice. And JaeJoong... has such deep feelings drawn on his fair face... He is so attractive... Why is kissing so irritating?!?! I hope he can live with happiness forever... as well as all other members... I hope I am calmed down when watching this movie in Sept. Or else I'll destroy the computer!! Everyone MUST treat them well, if not I'll kill those who don't obey my words.

Lastly, I wanna thank Callie for yesterday's blog. Really thank you. You're such a great friend.

Stand By U

2009-06-03T15:54:00.000+08:00

君がさよならを告げずに出て行ったあの日から
この街の景色や匂いが変わった気がするよ
君のすべてになりたくて交わした約束も
果たされないまま思い出に変わってしまう
ひとりきりで君が泣いたあの時
すぐに飛んで行けば
今もまだ君は僕の横にいてくれた?
できるならばもう一度言いたかった大好きって
君への思いを溢れ出した言葉も今は届かない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
結んだ髪の後ろ姿に君を重ねて
振り返る知らぬ誰かに何度も勘違いした
着信があるたび君の名前を期待したり
かっこ悪い毎日ばかり過ぎていくよ
忘れないは言って嘘で本当は忘れたくないだけ
強がりが僕らしさならばもういらない
君がいなきゃ何にも感じない幸せって
どう頑張ってみても零れ落ちた涙はすぐに止まらない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
だから今こうして僕はまたひとり君の名前呼んでる
これ以上切なさを抱きしめていけるわけなどないよ
でもそれしかないんだよ
君がいるだけで輝いて見えた
あの頃は二度と戻ってはこないけど
何が起こっても何を失っても
君を愛したこと決して忘れたくない
君がどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな夢を見て何して笑っていても
ずっとここにいて今もここにいて
君といつの日か逢えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ

(I know I've posted this before but, I can't help posting it again... Too nice song...)

2009-06-01T14:26:00.000+08:00

I only have them.

为了记住和你的点滴，我把那段期间我们每天的事情记了下来。犯贱的我，无能为力得只能做这些事。。。犯贱的我，想要知道更多他的近况。。。犯贱的我，总要看见他和那位的开心，然后自己伤心。。。谁叫犯贱的我曾经说过愿意用自己的悲伤换来他的开心。。。谁叫犯贱的我那么的犯贱。。。

Please take me to a place where I can shout as loudly as I can

2009-05-29T18:54:00.000+08:00

I want to shout. Really shout. I have not shouted very loudly before. I want to try it. There's too much pain in my heart. If shouting can reduce the pain, I really want to shout it out. 人是犯贱的。This word is true, totally true. I'm human and I'm fanjian. I know it will hurt but I still insist on doing it. I know I won't be happy but I still do it. I know what'll happen if I do it but I still do it, and finally it's not a happy ending. Is this called stupid? If yes then I am. I live in a world of imagination. Always been imagining things... I wish I don't have a brain. I wouldn't be thinking nonsense if I don't have a brain. Now really, I don't have any chance or choice, but to stop it. Cause I've already known. I really knew it now. You've tell me in words. You've said it. You've answered my question that I've been wanting to know. I'm fine. Am I really fine? I'm really fanjian. I hate my fanjian-ness. What am I doing? What should I do? Tired. I'm really tired now. I think I live to regret. Regret the decisions I've made. It has no use. I know it, but still regretting. That's why I hate myself. Stupid Nicole. Stupid Nicole. It's not enough to scold myself for even billions and billions of times. Nicole, you're stupid! Stop being stupid. Stop regretting. Stop everything. I'm like stabbing a knife into my heart. If you pull the knife out, you'll feel even more pain. And I have chosen another option, just let it be stabbed into my heart. Leave it there. Should I still continue this? No idea. I'm afraid of pain. But I've always been making myself painful. But I know I still have them, my precious them...
끝났어. 이제 모두가 끝났어. 하지만... 아직 너를 보고 싶어요...

--------------

Let's watch Dance Subaru together, anyone? I'm gonna ask someone.

Complicated feeling

2009-05-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm... This coming Fri is the last day of school before mid-year holiday. Mum said let's go for a movie after school as I have a birthday treat from GSC. And I'm looking forward to it!! I've planned what to eat... what to watch... what to eat while watching... haha I wish I can try out alexis at the Gardens which I saw yesterday. There was quite a number of ppl there. Or try out some new restaurants or cafe or lounge bar? Instead of always eating Sushi Zanmai, Oh Sushi, Tony Roma's (did I spell it correctly?)... alexis, wait for me!! [full of hope]

All About 3 will be released in June!!!!! This is my 2nd exam reward. I bet with Dad if I get top 3 then I'll be having it. =.= But it's hard!!!!! I must try my best!! For them!! I must get it!!!!! Be original, buy original. Dad, please don't be so cruel, if I don't get top 3, still buy it for me alright?? hehehe I wonder when will 4th live tour DVD be released?? This is my reward for 1st exam, although it hasn't been released. I'll be having you for sure!! All About 3, wait for me!! 4th live tour DVD, I'm waiting for you!! [excited]

아무리 원한다고 해도 만날수 없는 사람이죠
그려봅니다 그댈 그려봅니다
아련한 모습 되뇌이면서
아무리 노력해보아도 어쩔수 없는 사람이죠
난 불러봅니다 그댈 불러봅니다
아련한 추억 너무도 그리워하며
따뜻한 그 눈빛만 자꾸 떠올라서
못견디게 흐린 기억만 자꾸 생각나서
이젠 안된다고 말해도 어쩔수 없잖아요
남은 추억하나로 널 그리며 살아가는 나
아무리 다가가려 해도 어쩔수 없는 사람이죠
나 기다립니다 그댈 기다립니다
사라진 추억 너무도 아파하면서
난 따뜻하던 눈빛만 자꾸 떠올라서
못 견디게 흐린 기억만 자꾸 생각나서
이젠 안된다고 말해도 어쩔수 없잖아요
남은 추억 하나로 널 그리며 살아가는 나
늘 함께 했던 우리 기억은
이 자리에 그대로 있는데
나를 찾던 손길이 자꾸 떠올라서
나를 보며 웃던 얼굴이 자꾸 생각나서
이젠 안된다고 말해도 어쩔수 없잖아요
남은 추억하나로 널 그리며 살아가죠
따뜻하던 눈빛만 자꾸 떠올라서
못 견디게 흐린 기억만 자꾸생각나서
이젠 안된다고 말해도 어쩔수 없잖아요
남은 추억 하나로 널 그리며 살아가는 나
[depressed]

I'm alone. What am I? Who am I? [confused, I think]

Complicated feelings all the time.

Doggys' fight

2009-05-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

Maybe I should call it bully case of doggy instead of doggys' fight. XD

I think even Jae couldn't control Vik's naughtiness. haha... Poor Xiahky... I wish JunSu could save you from being bullied by Vik. XD Two cute doggy... Come and hug hug... hahahahaha

Tonight Hokkaido concert. No one who attends has got H1N1 right? Please make sure there's none. I wish the concert starts and ends smoothly, and everyone's healthy. I wish I can be there too!!!!! T.T ganbatte!!

-----

I hate my stupidness. Stupid Nicole sutpid Nicole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your heart'll be broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop this!!!!!!!!!!

"Bored"

2009-05-22T14:20:00.000+08:00

絡めた指を解く度
その温もりを握り返した
君に逢えると思う度
僕の心は彩られてく
他愛のない出来事も
ふたりでいれば思い出に出来るのに
君の声も　その細い肩も
その瞳も　僕のものじゃない
どんなに　傍にいても
君の未来　壊さない限り
この想いを　叶えること出来ないよ
ひとときの夢　痛いほど好きなのに
夜が終わってく
逢えない時間を埋めるように
煌めく街の鋪道を歩く
初めて手に触れた時
戯けた君の笑　が蘇る
抱きしめたい　抱きしめていたい
だけど君は　僕のものじゃない
歪な心が今
抱きしめたい　抱きしめちゃいけない
溢れるほど　溶けるほど　求めているのに
タクシー止めて　約束も交さずに
君は手を振る
君の声も　その細い肩も
その瞳も　僕のものじゃない
どんなに　傍にいても
君の未来　壊さない限り
この想いを　叶えること出来ないよ
ひとときの夢　痛いほど好きなのに
夜が終わってく

君がさよならを告げずに出て行ったあの日から
この街の景色や匂いが変わった気がするよ
君のすべてになりたくて交わした約束も
果たされないまま思い出に変わってしまう
ひとりきりで君が泣いたあの時
すぐに飛んで行けば
今もまだ君は僕の横にいてくれた?
できるならばもう一度言いたかった大好きって
君への思いを溢れ出した言葉も今は届かない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
結んだ髪の後ろ姿に君を重ねて
振り返る知らぬ誰かに何度も勘違いした
着信があるたび君の名前を期待したり
かっこ悪い毎日ばかり過ぎていくよ
忘れないは言って嘘で本当は忘れたくないだけ
強がりが僕らしさならばもういらない
君がいなきゃ何にも感じない幸せって
どう頑張ってみても零れ落ちた涙はすぐに止まらない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
だから今こうして僕はまたひとり君の名前呼んでる
これ以上切なさを抱きしめていけるわけなどないよ
でもそれしかないんだよ
君がいるだけで輝いて見えた
あの頃は二度と戻ってはこない
けど何が起こっても何を失っても
君を愛したこと決して忘れたくない
君がどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな夢を見て何して笑っていても
ずっとここにいて今もここにいて
君といつの日か逢えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ

Love these two songs, beside 忘れないで.

I feel bored. Should I live as Callie does? I don't think that lifestyle suits me. Or should I give it a try? I don't know. Every time I stare at my h/p for a long time, eyes blank, brain blank... I dare not take a step forward. It's started since I'm 14. What if this continues until I'm 24? haha... I can't imagine that. I can feel the bitterness though. I don't even know what I'm trying to say...

Hope that H1N1 won't spread to places where they hold concert in Jp.

Teacher's Day. Some of my nasty friends said I like the PE teacher. =.= I just know his name only. Does that mean that I like him? LOL. But I think he looks like sports star. hahahaha.... I like his height esp.

Is it not enough?

2009-05-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel that I have not shown enough love to them. Not because my love to them isn't enough but... erm... Maybe I don't show it externally. For instance, I seldom reply threads at forum... I'm just... maybe a little lazy? Those threads are like sharing a news or pics or so and so, and what do I have to reply? I can only say "thanks for sharing". What else other than that? Won't it be weird if I keep on repeating the same sentence every time? Sure it will. I just look around there to see updated news and some topics ppl there talk about. I don't reply threads and this doesn't mean that I don't love them more than anyone else. When I gain info about them I'll keep it in my heart, sometimes tell a friend for sharing purpose only. Nowadays I don't often talk about them because I feel like I'm the only one who is talking and talking myself in my own world, and the listeners... like just listen, and when my story's finished, some of them just simply give comment about what I tell to give me a reaction. AND I hate those ridiculous comments and stupid questions they ask. There has been once triple-wheel-car (twc) asked me a question which sounded like this: "Don't you like them anymore? You seldom talk about them." I calmed myself down and answered twc's question. "When you really love a person, you don't show it out. You just keep him/her in your heart. You won't care about how ppl think you." Actually I wanted to add a sentence at the back - "Not like you." Because she always "show off" her "lover".

I want 설레임!!!!! It looks tasty!!!!! 1500W per pack. How I wish there's a Lotte Duty Free in M'sia!! hahahahaha

君がさよならを告げずに出て行ったあの日から
この街の景色や匂いが変わった気がするよ
君のすべてになりたくて交わした約束も
果たされないまま思い出に変わってしまう
ひとりきりで君が泣いたあの時
すぐに飛んで行けば
今もまだ君は僕の横にいてくれた?
できるならばもう一度言いたかった大好きって
君への思いを溢れ出した言葉も今は届かない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
結んだ髪の後ろ姿に君を重ねて
振り返る知らぬ誰かに何度も勘違いした
着信があるたび君の名前を期待したり
かっこ悪い毎日ばかり過ぎていくよ
忘れないは言って嘘で本当は忘れたくないだけ
強がりが僕らしさならばもういらない
君がいなきゃ何にも感じない幸せって
どう頑張ってみても零れ落ちた涙はすぐに止まらない
君はどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな服を着て何して笑ってるんだろう
僕はここにいて今もここにいて
君と二人でまた会えると信じているよ
だから今こうして僕はまたひとり君の名前呼んでる
これ以上切なさを抱きしめていけるわけなどないよ
でもそれしかないんだよ
君がいるだけで輝いて見えた
あの頃は二度と戻ってはこないけど
何が起こっても何を失っても
君を愛したこと決して忘れたくない
君がどこにいて誰とどこにいて
どんな夢を見て何して笑っていても
ずっとここにいて今もここにいて
君といつの日か逢えると信じているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ
変わらず想っているよ
君だけ想っているよ

(To you, you're the person I wish to stand by.)

Moody

2009-05-17T18:08:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda moody. Today I feel bored and down, for nothing. Nothing happened but it makes me feel like... just want to sleep and don't want to think anything. I didn't sleep though. I don't like to take a nap in the afternoon, unless I'm really extremely exhausted. Today I'm not. Maybe the reason I feel like this today is because... I saw a person's... erm... kinda diary and her feelings written at forum. She's like... always thinking negative. I don't think she actually SO SO SO sad and upset of what she has done, for no reason. Furthermore, it was she, herself, who did the decision and she wants to regret for doing it. But for no reason again, I've been thinking of helping her. I used to hate her name. Her name makes me feel... Her name is RIDICULOUS. Maybe I'm just a little mad for hating a person's name. What a name... Now, consolation has no effect on her. She has to stand up again on her own. Only she, can help herself. Calm down and think of it. I use this method to solve my own problems so I seldom look for help from others. But for times, I've ask some friends, or more correctly, a friend of mine for help, it's only when I have no idea what should I do.

Stand By U touches my heart. I wish to stand by you too. You're packed with work, and I'm overwhelmed with sorrow and despair. To you, I'm just nothing. Relationship is confusing. Time passes by very fastly. But the fastest is, the changes you have. You seem like you've turned into another person in nearly 2 yrs time. You've become busier. You have your goal in your life. You're working hard to achieve your goal. You'll only concentrate on your work. The only thing I feel relieved is that you still remember me, you still remember what our childish promise is. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you'll forget me one day as time flies through quickly like an aarow and you're that busy. These are unavoidable factors. I can't stop the time. I can't stop you from being busy in your work. Even if I call you from the back, you won't turn around to see my face as you have things that are more important to you to do. I know that. I know it all...

INA's out. Upset.

Yesterday (5/14) - my big day

2009-05-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

Actually I wanted to post this yesterday, but I'd ran out of time.

Hmm... Let's start telling story from morning till night, whole day of 5/14. Midnight, I was awakened by thunderstorm. Then I started thinking, it wouldn't rain by the time I wake up, as that day was my big day. XD Finally when I woke up, it was drizzling. After I had a bath, I ate breakfast. Mum and Dad wished me happy birthday~ At the same time, I wasn't patient enough to wait till after school, so I opened the birthday present gave by two relatives of mine. Actually they gave it to me earlier on 4/26, but I was too stubborn to open it earlier than the actual date of my b'day. XD And guess what? They gave me a watch, a Swatch watch. I wonder how did they know that I've been wanting a watch for a long time. Thanks!! At school. Ci En was the 1st one to wish me happy b'day. I was happy. ^^ Immediately after that, everyone started to wish me till I didn't know who was the 2nd, 3rd, 4th... one. I only knew that ppl who wished me included XinTing, KarCheng, HsianXuan, Pearl, ChiatYing, MunRu, Kimberley, HuiChyi. Then!! QianFei came to me and gave me a big present!! I was so excited that she was the 1st person to give me a present at school. Furthermore, I like receiving BIG presents. XD Kimberley, HsianXuan and Pearl gave me sth too. That was GREAT. Next, let's change the venue to B304, the class that my activity was. We did bookmark for teachers. My best friend, known for 10 years, gave me a present too at the end of activity. She asked me not to open it the moment I received though. On the way going back home, I was in the car. I opened all the presents I had received. I opened my best friend's 1st. She gave me a bag!! And WOW!! XD Next was QianFei's. I had been looking forward to opening her present. XD The box was pretty nice. I like. She gave me many things. I like the cup she gave me as there's my birth date written on it. There were also a shirt and... erm... a cat? XD Pearl gave me a story book which titled Classic Sg Horror Stories. Thanks to all my friends!! And also Kylin, wished me at the last blog. THANKS A LOT!!!!! Still in the car, my bottle dropped to the back seat (I was sitting at the front seat). I turned to the back to get it and... Guess what? I saw a HUGE Secret Recipe cake!!!!! XD Last year my family prepared the cake for me as a surprise and this year, I found it myself!! XD As soon as I got home, I cleaned myself and prepared to going out for dinner. Going to Unique Seafood Restaurant in PJ. It took me quite a long time to decorate myself. My attire was an Esprit blouse bought recently (1st time wearing it), a long-time-no-wear skirt and... my fear - HIGH-HEEL SHOES. XD The traffic was a little heavy and we reached there at approximately 7.30pm. Dad took me to choose seafood, which are still swimming in the water. This restaurant serves fresh seafood. We ordered fish and crab. (I'm not sure the eng name of the fish and crab.) I was a little scared when the worker put the fish we chose into a pail, because there was one time my family and my best friend's (the one mentioned above) family went there together and my friend and I was frightened by a fish in the pail as I've told, the fish was caught LIVE, it would jump highly, struggle to live. But that was quite a fun experience. There was showing Sudirman Cup too. I wondered if MAS beat DEN because it was my b'day? XD We had dinner for about 2 hrs. Wow... Back home. Cut cake. The cake was my favourite one, Chocolate Indulgence. Dad took pictures of me. Blew out the candles... haha... I enjoyed the cake a lot. Thanks to my lovely Dad and Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmm... I did reminded S that it was my b'day. S replied me!! Some other friends of mine wished me too - Ms Chow (my best piano teacher), Chee Kwai, Nicole (same name as me)... I hope I didn't miss anyone. And of course!! How could I forget you, Callie!!!!! She said she called me at 12am midnight. wahahaa... I was dreaming that time. But anyway, thanks too cutie!! hahahahahaha... To everyone, I really had a GREAT, MEMORABLE b'day this year. I wanna say thank you until my throat breaks. hahahahahaXD And my lovely boys, you all do remember my b'day, right?? hahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaa...

Below are a few of my pictures taken when cutting cake (uneditted!! XD): my birthday cake

Thanks for seeing my long long blog. ^^

Tweety Bird!!!!!

2009-05-13T18:36:00.000+08:00

I've just realised that I like Tweety Bird so much that I keep on thinking... him? her? it? Whatever... XD Tweety is so cute!!!!! Has HUGE head, LARGE eyes, SHORT hands (maybe we should call that wings), BIG feet, SMALL body... and I'm not sure how to describe the mouth, a bird's beak, Tweety has a ... erm... special beak. XD I feel great when going to bed at night as my bed is full of Tweety!!!!! Tweety pillow, Tweety bedsheet, Tweety bolster... I wish Tweety is not only a cartoon character but also a physically and mentally real friend to me. Share thoughts with me. Accompany me in doing things. Encourage me. XD But I don't speak birds' language. Hopefully if my dream comes true, Tweety can speak human's language. XD

It has been a long time I wasn't posting blog in Eng. I'll write in Ch now and again, if there's 'sth' up.

Now I'm going to emphasize on sth... hahahahahahahahahahahaha... TOMORROW.......... (I think you know what I'm going to say...) TOMORROW'S..... MY BIG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha... I'm looking forward to receiving much presents (I expect the presents I will be receiving to be uncountable XD)!!!!!

Next. Few hours ago. (I'm not telling the venue.) I walked along a corridor. I saw a person. We did say a word to each other. Then I felt excited. XD Maybe I'm just a little too crazy.

And I've just seen someone's blog. It seems like this person's life is a little complicated. Seeing the blog, I'm just not able to understand what this person's expressing. Or maybe my understanding skill is bad. Or maybe my english isn't good enough, or even worse. XD Don't ever think that my english is good as my parents are always giving comments on my bad english. It was not my fault though. The situation is a little hard to explain. The conclusion is that it wasn't my fault to not having a better english.

"No one is going to be one's forever," Callie says so. I think this statement is not completely wrong. I agree with you, KeYi.

幸福是？

2009-05-11T16:44:00.000+08:00

在论坛看见一个题目为“幸福是？”的帖。幸福对你而言是什么？现在的你幸福么？
我认为这个帖很有意义啊，看了这帖才想什么是幸福。世上有东方神起就是幸福！！幸福。。。对我而言是。。。以快乐的心情爱别人，别人也以快乐的心情爱你。我幸福么？我认为还不错啊。最主要的原因是因为世上有东方神起！！也因为我以快乐的心情爱着我的家人和朋友们，而他们也爱我。世事是不完美的。我的幸福不够完美的地方是，我没有以快乐的心情爱一个人。。。

生日倒数3天。时间转得真快。

2009-05-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

事情是过去了，心情平复了。他将会留在我心中。或许可倚说得对，没有人是会爱一个人一辈子的。嗯，我相信你。

4天后就是我的生日！！！！！！！！！！我希望我所希望的人会来祝贺我。

俊秀站了起来！！！！！！！！！！！！！！看来伤势慢慢地复原了。加油哦！！四巡也加油！！！！！！！！全员加油！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

好无聊。。。不知道要写什么了。。。

支撑

2009-05-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

“我想我撑不住了。”
这是我给可倚发的简讯。随后她打来。虽然她没说了什么特别的，却安慰了我放肆的眼泪。谢谢你。我怎么那么的不听话，总是不停想着他。朋友的安慰并非无效，只是心中的痛楚掩盖了知己的慰籍。会想，自己何必那么痛苦？远方的那人根本不知道。。。他有自己要过的生活。我也有。可是，在我继续我的生活之前，至少先让我对他失去感觉。这样我才能过回以前的生活。这个任务需要多长的时间来完成呢？上回啊，足足用了我整年的时间呢。。。如今也要吗？直觉告诉我这回需要的时间不会比上回短。顺其自然吧。

日本四巡fighting!!!!!

2009-04-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

给我6个朋友，我们要做永远的朋友。

伤心不是因为被拒绝，是因为后悔自己当初做的愚蠢的决定。我的勇气已耗尽，不能做出勇敢的事了。不知怎的生病了。是否最近流行的swine flu？朋友们都说我傻，哪可能中呢？而我认为。。。不知道。。。不知道为什么会焦虑。。。基本上，现在已经没有怕死的念头，只是如果死了会很遗憾，因为我还没见到我的宝贝们。我的宝贝们，对不起，听Share The World时，不能投入enjoy，因为是首开朗的歌。这次，又要多久来完全放下？你犹如组成我的头脑的脑细胞，一直在我脑海里徘徊，让我不能忽略你的存在。其实我在生活上并不够聪明。我是个愚昧的人。错过了机会，回不了头。。。记忆有限让我无可奈何。不想被时间冲淡的回忆，只能随风而去。如果我是风，我想去哪就去哪，来到有你的世界。你很好。你没有质疑我的真心。好久没体验这种心情了。。。也忘了上一次是何时。怎么我还犯上同样的错误？总是重蹈覆辙的我，还不快醒过来？曾经醒过来，可是时间久了，就会忘记受伤的滋味，错误也循环着的被我犯上。若我是一部电脑，记忆就能永存。可是电脑唯一的缺点就是缺乏感情。我不要做一部电脑。我想要呼喊。。。却只能在心中呼唤着。。。你近来常笑么？有另一个人让你笑么？你曾经犹如悲观的小孩，我那时扮演着乐观的角色。可是现在我已不再是。如果今晚一位漂亮的仙子光临我房，赐我三个愿望，我会希望什么？一，赶快让我见到我的宝贝们！二，家人和宝贝们都要建健康康。三。。。关于你的愿望。。。可是我知道我不可以贪心。。。我应该希望你忙碌的生活能够缓和下来，免得累坏身体。这次我不是自私的人。愿望被我用完了，没有剩个给自己。可是这三个都比自己重要。如果有多一个愿望，我希望时光逆转，回到2007年。我想如果这个成为愿望的话会浪费吧，因为这是不可能实现的夙愿。我的身份是--你不会忘记的朋友。

너, 너무 멀어요...

昨晚。。。

2009-04-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

昨晚。接近凌晨12点。那个感觉涌入心头。心情有些冲动，也许激动。
“我是你想要抹去的污渍吗？如果是的话说一声，我就知道该怎么做”
“为什么这么说？你的心怎么了？”
“我。。。很想你。。。我怕前年的回忆渐渐忘掉。。。有些我已想不起了。。。我不想说的。。。对不起我说了。。。”
“哎呀，反正我们那么少联络，你迟点都会忘记我的啦。。。”
“一些重要的我都记得。。。我不想忘记的。。。我不知道。。。”
“别想太多啦。。。我每天都很忙没时间想其他的东西。。。你是我不会忘记的朋友。。。。”
嗯。坦言了，心中的包袱也放下了，以为自己会崩溃，但并没有。人虽轻松了，但免不了会有伤感。。。后悔已是无用。。。坦言的用意并不是想得到什么样的答案，只是说了后好像从被捆绑中解脱。虽然答案不是完美的。此刻开始一切都只能作为回忆吗？自从那次的不联络后，你有了另一个人。你去做剪发了。现在不知道那人还在不在你身边。不知道你还是不是在剪发。不知道你做什么工，为什么整天都那么忙，还忙得那么夜。对不起，昨晚占据了你的一小时。不过，这一小时对我来说是值得的。
朋友们，暂且原谅我开怀大笑的不存在。

2009-04-25T12:06:00.000+08:00

Today - Parent's Day. I've got 4th position. I can have Jp 4th Live Tour The Secret Code DVD which will be released after the concert tour. ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!! I will work harder next semester to get All About Season 4.

19 days to my birthday. Presents!! Be my Santa Claus~

K, R, S. Who knows?

I'm missing you
missing you 죽도록 그리운 사람
너무 보고 싶고 그리워도 할 수 없는 말
I'm missing you
missing you 그토록 사랑한 사람
다신 나에게로 돌아와 주겠니?
I'm missing you

从监狱中放了出来

2009-04-23T20:35:00.000+08:00

我已经成为了重约50公斤的金，很值钱。因为我忍了几星期没上网。一开邮箱就发现有60封电邮，不包括junk mail。

你知道么？还有21天就是我的生日了。今年我会收到几份礼物？今年的生日会过得开心么？

监禁期间，我有在怀疑自己是否处于变心的边缘。。。因为当时在烦着其他事情，感觉和他们的距离拉远了。。。可是我告诉自己，当初许下永远的承诺不是经过慎重考虑的么？答案：是。我会一直不断支持，爱着他们的。这是我的承诺。后来，买了秘密编号，所烦着的事情也因无法解决而放弃去想它，拥有了我梦寐以求的宝物，所有感觉涌上，回归正常，也就是，寻找会应该拥有的感觉。呵呵呵。。。结论不是我不易变心，而是，我在许下承诺前，是经过慎重考虑的，立了诺言，就会实践。我的承诺的有效期为--直到我死去的那一刻。

I write title by my own (don't have to force me)

2009-04-08T18:10:00.000+08:00

hahahaha.... Thanks to my friend, or maybe friends that read my blog yesterday. hahaha... I know it's very very long... Or maybe hard to understand too. Thanks^^

Everytime I see JiHu I feel sad for him.

I have a mission, I don't know whether it's impossible, but I will make it POSSIBLE. I will, and I must complete the "task" in August. August, I'll be waiting for you!! You will be leading me to a place of heaven. And I will see things that give my eyes nutrient. hahahahahahahahahahahaha... I'll scream!!!!! But, who is accompanying me to heaven?? Of course you must pay for it because it is helpful to your eyes, and also mentally helpful. hahahahahahahaha... Who wants to accompany me??

4/10 or 4/12?? My neck is like a giraffe's. Can't wait till that.

为什么过了几个星期都没声息？刚刚明明按一下就可以联系了，为什么不做？有空上来，没空找我？你忘了你说过什么么？后来想点击你可你已离开。（其实当时候没点击是因为在看戏，呵呵）再回头已是过去。朋友们，珍惜身边的人！！不要做会令自己后悔的事。

This time I won't write so long. If not my friend, or maybe friends will 围殴 me. hehehe

一言难尽

2009-04-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

有很多东西说，不过实在太多了，不知先说哪个。

世上有很多种人：有钱人用很少钱；没钱人用很多钱；有钱人用很多钱；没钱人用很少钱。其实老实说，有哪个人不想做有钱人？可是当中我最不欣赏的就是那些没那么有钱的人批评有钱人的生活习惯。试问如果那个批评者很有钱的话，他还会批评那些有钱人么？说什么都不懂那些有钱人做什么，样样都买名牌，把所有名牌挂在身上拿来炫耀么？这句话，我顶不顺。如果你有能力买名牌你就不会这样批评人家。那些有钱人不花钱在这些的话，那么他们要花在哪里呢？如果有钱人不买名牌，而身穿cheap货，众人也不是一样会批评么？说什么那个人那么有钱还穿这种东西，吝啬极了，连钱也不花在自己身上，死了和棺材葬么？有钱人买名牌又被批评，不买也被批评，这样公平么？不公平。如果有钱人都不买名牌，这世上就没名牌了啦，因为名牌店都得倒闭了。我认为为名牌疯狂没错，因为他有的是钱，他有自由花钱在任何地方。无可否认的确有些人买了名牌到处炫耀，我遇过一个例子。某某在class说：“我妈妈那天大减价买了一个LV bag” 理所当然的有人一定会问多少钱，她就自信满满地说：“before discount RM5000” 说了一大堆也不是在等人问那个简单的问题么？何必炫耀？真正有钱的人不炫耀自己拥有的财产，因为对他们来说，花钱已成为他们的习惯，已经不是很特别的事，不必成天挂在嘴边。所以，没钱人，请别批评有钱人身上的名牌；有钱人，也不要炫耀自己的财产。

最近也许特别感性，总是听歌看戏都会流泪。。。为什么呢？也许把歌和戏里的主角想成是自己了吧。过去太多不堪回首的回忆，一直在脑中久久无法忘记。回忆刻骨铭心，知道刻在骨上的痛和铭记与心的悲么？或许这些记忆会一直保存到生命结束为止。。。有些回忆真的很想像지후那样删除掉看到잔디XX的时候，可是能够真正忘记么？不可以！！或许就像지후那样，虽说放弃了첫 사랑 서현，可是他也很想和她在一起的吧。过了那么久家中还有许多和서현的回忆（虽然有잔디的存在）。时间会冲淡一切，是真的么？所谓的时间是多久呢？有谁到达那“时间”的句号？不过，我知道虽然记忆抹不去，我不会活在记忆里停滞而不前进，人要往高处攀爬，我会往前走，不会留恋无谓的人。新目标新希望，而我有了。可是还哪敢去追求呢？以往掌握不了，造成如今的胆怯，害怕会像滑溜溜的鳗鱼一样捉到手后瞬间就溜走。也许不去克服这个毛病也是件好事。

今天到此为止吧，词穷了。

Long time no see

2009-04-03T20:38:00.000+08:00

Long time no see. Long time didn't renew blog. (long time no see: makes me think of a "cold" joke from JunSu XD)

So excited that exam had finally over.

The more excited is... BOF has ended!! So sad... but so happy~~ haiz... JiHu arr... My lovely JiHu... I have a lot more to say about it, but don't know where to start from... So I decided not to say... haha...

What shall I say now?? I have many things to say... But there's sth I can't say here. And there's a lot.

거짓말 같은 사랑

2009-03-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

I'll be waiting for you 그대 기다릴게요
더이상 아픈 눈물 보이지않을래요
You let me know 거짓말 같은 사랑
놓지 않을 거에요 바로 그대니까요

I feel sad cause listen to two songs...

오늘 밤에 뮤직뱅크하고 꽃보다 남자.

For three weeks I haven't seen R.

Forum. Someone asked, what is TVXQ meant to you? For me, just like Don't Say Goodbye, "You are my everything to me 마르지 않는 샘처럼 그댈 사랑할게요" "세상이 등 돌려도 힘든 사랑이라도 You are my love, you are my soul" 言语无法表达的爱。是发自内心的爱。可以为他们付出一切不求回报。I replied like that. It seems like it is not enough to write just a few words to bring out my feelings towards them. I don't know whether those who replied saying how much they love them and some used "hiperbola" to describe is true, but I just know, I didn't use "hiperbola", cause that makes me think that they are way too 夸张 and not natural. If to say in a simple way, it makes me think that they aren't loving them SSSSSOOOOOO much but pretend to be like that to let ppl think how much they love them. I don't need ppl to verify my love to them, I don't care whether ppl think that my love to them is not deep or anything else... In the whole world, only me and a friend of mine know how much I care about them. It's enough.

我真的不想那么快死。。。

2009-03-28T13:39:00.000+08:00

昨晚我独自一人在家。见闪电打雷，就关掉电脑，去客厅读PM。还准备看Pops in Seoul呢。怎知没看一分钟，电闪过，雷响过，突然间blackout。我并没有喊，因为我性格镇定。之后电一直闪，雷一直响，还是很强的那种。我心想，会不会劈中我？千万不要劈我，我不想那么快死。。。脑中第一个浮现的就是我的宝贝们。。。我还没有亲眼现场看他们的演唱会；我还没买他们的日本4辑；我还要继续支持他们的韩国5辑，6辑，7辑，8辑。。。还有日本5辑，6辑，7辑，8辑。。。到100辑我也会继续支持他们的！！我还没目睹他们的风采。。。我不想那么快死。。。千万不要劈我。。。后来雨也停了。很感激。。。因为上天没把我从这个有东方神起的世界带走。谢谢。以前我不怕死，认为顺其自然。可是现在不同了。我不想那么快死。

我不喜欢乌鸦。

--------------
我说过我不会对你留恋。我说过我很讨厌你。已确认过你不是好人。你善于说谎。你不可信。我不可以因一时糊涂而跌入陷阱。对，我不可以！！！！！你=不忠。